Friday, June 20, 2008

Baby-Sitters Club #69: Get Well Soon, Mallory

The Baby-Sitters Club was a huge part of my childhood. The first book I read was #13, Good-Bye, Stacey, Good-Bye. I would read it in my first grade classroom after I got done with my phonics workheets (which were really stupid because I obviously knew how to read). The last book I read was #126, The All-New Mallory Pike, and I think I was in high school at the time. I never really had a favorite club member, nor did I really identify particularly strongly with any club member. I related to Mallory because I too wanted to be a writer and I was also considered a huge dork by all my classmates, but that was where the similarity ended.

I'm recapping this particular BSC outing because I happen to love illness/injury stories to an unhealthy degree (ha!). I read this book over and over after I bought it, and I'm to this day disappointed that I never got mono. It went around both high school and college, but I dodged it every time. I'm guessing that being perpetually single had something to do with that.

Several BSC aficionados have pointed out that AMM seems to hate Mallory, and this book certainly makes a strong case for that. Heck, the name "Mallory" means misfortunate! I love how the cover blurb tries to make it sound like Mallory's actually important to the club: "How will the BSC survive without her?" Considering that Mal is only a junior member, I'd say they'll get along fine.

We start with Mrs. Pike announcing that the fam's been invited to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in NYC. The kids are working on their Halloween costumes. Mal's all run down and vaguely ill and falls asleep constantly. She manages to sleep the whole way through Halloween. Claudia uses the word "catatonic" and I call bullshit because there's no way the poster child for Hooked on Phonics knows a relatively uncommon word like that. I think I had to look it up when I first read this at age 10, and I scored a 650 on the SAT verbal that year. We're now in Chapter 2, and omg, I didn't know that Stacey's diabetic! And get this: Jessi's black! I know! Blah blah Kristy "great idea" blah Stoneybrook Manor blah blah. I hate this subplot.

Anyway, Mal goes home from the meeting and goes to bed. The next morning, she wakes up feeling extremely sick: aching joints, sore throat, swollen glands, the whole nine yards. She puts on her Bad Idea Jeans and tries to go to school. Fortunately, her mother has sense and takes her to the doctor. It's either strep, mono, or a bacterial infection. So basically, it sucks to be Mal. The doctor gives her antibiotics even though the rapid strep test is negative. The antibiotics don't make much of a difference. Mal has a mini-freakout about being behind in her schoolwork. Her parents make Vanessa move in with Claire and Margo in case Mal's contagious. Three days later the doc makes the official diagnosis: Mal has mononucleosis. The only treatment is to stay in bed. Nicky and Claire make fun of her for having cooties. Hee.

Boring subplot, ahoy! Stacey sits for Charlotte. Charlotte suggests cornucopias filled with presents for the old people. Stacey says baskets would work, and hails Charlotte as a genius. Blah blah baskets blah. *yawn*

Back to the Pikes'. Margo and Claire decorate Mal's room like a hospital room. With the help of Nicky, they put on a show called "Mallory Is Sick" (creative, huh?). Mal tries to do homework and drools on her math book. Over the weekend, her mom asks her to watch Margo and Claire. They pretend to be Dr. Margolius and Nurse Tiffany and won't let Mal do anything. In fact, they do a pretty good impression of the female cast of General Hospital. Mal ends up kind of enjoying it.

Sunday morning. Bad news for Mal: the doctor says she has to stay home until she gets better and then she can return to school, but that's it. No extra activities, no sports, and no BSC. Mal, of course, is aghast. She calls Kristy and Jessi to give them the bad news and cries her head off. I roll my eyes so hard they almost get stuck that way.

Jessi goes to an emergency BSC meeting. When she comes back, she lets Mal know the club's decision: nobody can replace Mal. They'll just muddle through without her until she gets better. Mal is totally relieved, because the BSC is life. *sigh*

Monday. Mal visits the doctor, who tells her that it may take up to three months for her to totally recover. Mal freaks out over the thought of missing three months of school and having to attend summer school. She tells Jessi the bad news, but Jessi tells her not to worry about it. Mal starts thinking that maybe the club should replace her. They talk a little about the boring Thanksgiving project that nobody cares about (TBTPTNCA). Mal offers to help make phone calls, but still feels guilty about not being able to do more. Oh, get over yourself. You're not that pretty. You're not that special.

TBTPTNCA headquarters. Goody basket contents are discussed. Sponsorships and donations are discussed. A Thanksgiving-themed carnival for the old people is planned. I'm subjected to Jessi's horribly prissy handwriting. Blah.

Mal decides to be a jerk so the BSC will throw her out of the club and replace her. In what universe do 11-year-olds actually think like this? She pisses off Jessi, Claudia, Mary Anne, and Kristy in short order. However, the big girls catch on and decide that Mal's too valuable to replace. *double yawn*

Vanessa comes up with a "promise campaign" to raise the rest of the money for the baskets. The Pike kids sell promises to their parents while Mal calls the rest of the BSC to tell them about the idea. My book is missing pages 91 and 92, so just trust me when I say that everything works out and they make the last hundred dollars they need. However, Mom and Pop Pike rain on everybody's parade (ha!) by announcing that they won't be going to New York because Mal's too sick. Mal gets all bummed because she ruined Thanksgiving.

TBTPTNCA shopping trip. There is rhyming. Forget that shit.

The Pike kids relay the details of the Stoneybrook Manor trip to Mal. All the old people were thrilled. Old guys were building Lego bridges and tossing bean bags. A good time was had by all.

Day before Thanksgiving. Mal gets to make place cards for dinner. The rest of the kids help with various other jobs. Then the BSC and some random neighborhood kids show up to bring the Manor party to Mal. They give her a basket, let her play the fishing game, let her play the bean bag toss, and hold a cakewalk. Mal cries again, but happy tears this time.

Thanksgiving. Lots of food. Macy's Parade on TV. The BSC invites themselves over for dessert. Dawn calls from Cali. Kristy unveils the new BSC flier and asks if Mal wants her name on it. Mal hems and haws and finally says no. She doesn't know when she'll get better, so for now she's just going to wait.

Yeah, Ann M. Martin? Totally hates Mal.

1 comment:

charmecia said...

i think she does hate mallory too
especially since i read in the article
that she holds no strong feelings towards mallory and dawn
and the bsc uses mallory as a punching bag too.
i dont know why mallory wants to be with friends who use her as a punching bag
and treat her like crap
yet she takes the club so seriously
as if its her life

get a grip mallory
and get over it
(i still like mallory though)