California Diaries #2: Sunny

First off, I have a confession to make. I have a really hard time with the Sunny books because my dad died of lung cancer when I was nine. He was home almost the whole time. I don't remember much--I was pretty young, and my mom did her best to keep me in the dark--but I remember enough to totally relate to some of what Sunny feels. Therefore, I'm not going to be as hard on her as others might.



October 20, 21, 22. Sunny has insomnia and decides to bore herself to sleep by writing in her journal. She decides to list all her problems sequentially. Number one: her mom is really sick again. She's back in the hospital and the chemo and radiation must stop until she gets better. Number two: her dad is renovating the bookstore and has turned into a control freak. He also spends all his time at the store or at the hospital, so he has no time for Sunny. I have to say, my mom was the same way, only she didn't have an outside job; no, she just neglected me because she had a pretty twisted perspective on spousal responsibility. Next, there's a quick Chapter Two-ish recap of the series so far. I'll spare you. Sunny's parents pass by her room. Mom is angry at Dad (I can't be bothered to write their first names), and she hasn't been wearing her wig. Sunny's afraid she might be starting to give up.



Sunny goes to school and takes the bus to the hospital at lunchtime. Mom isn't in her bed and Dad is talking on the phone about digging. Sunny understandably freaks out, and can't bring herself to write what went through her head. Aww. Mom is wheeled back in and Sunny nearly cries because she looks so old and frail and sick. Double aww. Mom catches on and asks Sunny if she's all right. Sunny makes a really dumb excuse. They get Mom into bed and she asks Dad about the store. Sunny realizes it's late and goes to leave. Once she's outside, she hears the doctor talking about test results. She eavesdrops and finds out that Mom has a lump on her clavicle and needs a biopsy. Sunny curses herself for having hope: "Hope is a disease." God, these books are depressing.



Sunny returns to school and gets in trouble for being late and not paying attention. She tells the teacher that her mom is dying of cancer and she was visiting her in the hospital. The teacher gets all flustered and goes into Sympathetic Authority Figure mode. Sunny berates herself for using her mom as an excuse and even more for saying that she's dying. She doesn't want everybody knowing her private business. She's also sick of her life being on hold because of her mom. She then says something that most people probably think is incredibly insensitive and horrible:

"Honestly, sometimes I wish Mom would just go ahead and die so we can get on with everything."

Again, I really can't condemn her for that. I remember feeling that way. One can argue that, as a teenager, Sunny should have the emotional discipline to put aside her own well-being and focus on her mom, but that just isn't possible. No one can do that 24/7. If Sunny wasn't being a self-absorbed, insensitive jerk, I'd be worried. That's how most people deal, whether they want to or not.

October 23. Sunny gets sent to the principal's office for backtalking Mrs. Whalen (hereafter "the Whale"). The Principal, Mr. Dean (I wonder if AMM was trying to be cute with that), goes into X-treme Sympathetic Authority Figure mode and won't even discuss punishment. Sunny bolts and runs into Ducky, who makes her feel better by...well, not doing much of anything. Sunny goes home and gets a phone message from Dad: "Sunny, call me at work. As soon as you get in." Sunny quite reasonably flips out and assumes the worst. When she calls him, she finds out Mom's coming home the next day and he wants her to get groceries. Sunny, again reasonably, gets pissed at Dad. I'm not saying Sunny's totally right about her dad, but she's certainly not totally wrong. Mom calls to ask why she didn't visit like she'd promised yesterday and Sunny feels like a heel. Then she finds out Mom gave her an old music box that belonged to Sunny's great-grandma. Sunny gets upset at the gesture but tries to play it off.

October 24. Sunny finally manages to drag herself out of bed and puts a load of laundry in. She's really not in the mood for the whole school thing. She listens to the radio and gets the brilliant idea of cutting school to go to the beach. She gets on the bus intending to go to the Palo City beach, but she realizes someone might recognize her there. She decides to stay on for the final stop, Venice Beach. I must say, she's got a lot of balls for a 13-year-old. She arrives at the beach around quarter of ten and hangs around for an hour or so before she meets HIM. From the description she gives, he sounds like your standard romance-novel hero: wavy black hair, strong chin, slightly crooked nose, great tan, no shirt. Sunny guesses he's about eighteen. He gives her advice on getting a splinter out of her foot. They sit on the jetty and chat. Carson is a "free spirit" who travels all around, won't give his age or last name, and worships Kerouac. Yeah, this is gonna go well. Sunny, of course, thinks he's utterly brilliant. I think he's a douchebag already.

Anyway, Sunny catches the bus home and gets home around normal time, therefore incurring no consequences for skipping school. Uh-oh. She goes to pick up Mom at the hospital and meets her mom's support group (which includes a flamingly gay man, but Sunny's too young to pick up on that, which I think is cool), who have rented a limo to drive her home "in style." Sunny feels useless and left out and goes home by herself. When she gets home, she watches her mom interact with the support group people, who are all healthy. She tries to imagine her mom that way, but "that [is] much harder to do."

October 25. Sunny is helping out at Dad's store. She finds On The Road and decides that it's a really cool book. As I have not and do not plan to ever read it, I can't dispute her. Sunny gets mad because Dad is taking advantage of her. She goes home to spend "alone time" with Mom but Mom is out with her support group. She finds a box of really ugly jewelry on her dresser with a note from her mother. Sunny quietly flips out about getting more "heirlooms." Meanwhile, Dad arrives home and yells at Sunny for not making dinner. Mom arrives soon after and they get into a discussion about the jewelry. Sunny asks her mom not to leave her any more "surprises." Dad yells at Sunny for being ungrateful. Sunny snaps and runs off.

October 26. Sunny takes off for the beach again, since she won't get to see her mother alone until evening. Even though Carson the Great isn't there, Sunny has a really good time surfing and reading On The Road. When she gets home, she reads to her mom.

October 27. Mom has to go back to the hospital. Sunny arrives late for school, falls asleep in class, and ends up in the principal's office again. Maggie asks her about it and Sunny cracks jokes, which pisses Maggie off. Ducky tells Sunny that he'll give her a ride to the beach next time she wants to go. I think PL is trying to drop "Ducky <3 Sunny" hints, but we all know Ducky's gay and Sunny's his hag, so: good try, guys. Sunny goes home and finds an answering machine message from Dad saying Mom's got pneumonia. Sunny goes to bring her a bag and cries on the way home because everything reminds her of Mom. Awww. Then Dad lays into her for the lack of food and clean clothes. Sunny's dad is an asshole. I feel bad for Sunny, because there's really nothing she can do to make him happy, and I think he is taking everything out on her because she's there. It's a rough sitch to be in. I honestly don't think there's anything Sunny can do, so I can't blame her for getting mad and running away all the time.

Speaking of running away...Sunny takes off for Venice Beach again on October 28. Sunny runs into Carson the Great while blading. They get coffee, which is awful, and CtG praises her for cutting school. Ugh. Not good. They blade for a while and then walk on the beach. Sunny tries to find out Carson's last name. She gets a little bit of Carson backstory--he's 17, a high school dropout, a runaway, and hitched to CA from Cleveland. Can't fault him for that. Sunny dumps on him a little and tries to make plans with him. CtG doesn't believe in plans. I've heard that one before. Sunny thinks she might be in love with him. I gag.

November 1. I'm going in chronological order, not narrative order. Sunny tries to teach CtG to surf. He sucks like a Dyson. Sunny thinks it's cool that he was basically a good sport about it. Sunny's miffed that CtG still won't tell her his last name.

November 5. Sunny forges a note from Mom's doctor to explain away her cut days. Ms. Krueger mildly and unofficially busts her for it. Sunny discovers that forgery is illegal. Um, DUH! Where have you been? At the beach, apparently. Sunny runs into Ducky and asks him for "guy advice." I lol. Yeah, asking Ducky for guy advice is like asking Jill for tattoo advice. Anyway, Sunny asks Ducky if CtG likes her. Ducky kind of answers in the affirmative and Sunny rejoices. Sunny decides to cut school in the middle of the day to see CtG. Sunny asks CtG for his address and phone number, to which he replies that he doesn't have one. That's alternative*. Sunny gives him her digits and he gives her his last name, which is Frame. Dude, I'd ditch that name too. That's worse than mine. Surnames that are also nouns suck.

Later, Dawn yells at Sunny for taking off because Sunny's mom is in the hospital again. Dawn covered for Sunny, but Dawn being Dawn, she's mucho pissed that she had to lie for Sunny. Then Dawn accuses Sunny of not caring about her mom. If I were Sunny, I would have decked her. Sunny doesn't get a chance, because Dawn storms off. Sunny goes to her room and destroys the heirloom music box. Then she packs a bag and gets on the bus, intending to run away.

Sunny finds CatG at the arcade. He gives her some crap about how people are meant to be nomadic. He makes a comment about going to creative writing classes to learn to write like Kerouac. Dude, you could do that with a dime-bag and a steno pad--it's a hell of a lot cheaper. Sunny invites herself along on CtG's life journey. CtG is not impressed. When he finds out Sunny's only thirteen, he's really not impressed. He thinks Sunny is making a big mistake because she has good friends and parents that are still married and still care about her. CtG contrasts this with his own life and it's heavily implied that he was abused. CtG takes off and leaves Sunny behind. CtG sticks Sunny with the bill. Poor Sunny has to give up all her cash. Now she's "broke, alone and homeless." She tries to get on the last bus but can't make it. Sunny realizes that CtG's situation must have been pretty bad--much worse than hers. Sunny's sick of her life: her mother being sick, her dad's demands, how she's misunderstood by everyone around her, even CtG! *gasp*

Sunny notices that everything's closed for the night. There's a sign that forbids camping, fires, and sleeping on the beach. Sunny's in pretty deep shit. She hides under the pier, where it's pitch-dark. She sees a police car and panics. However, it's just picking up two guys with donuts from a convenience store. A minute passes and a freaky vagrant lighting up a cig spooks her. She yells and runs. Someone calls Sunny's name and Sunny looks for the voice. She finds Ducky sitting in his car and is totally relieved. She throws herself on him and bawls. Ducky tells her that everyone back home is worried and Sunny agrees to go home.

Sunny gets home and goes to Dawn's house first because she can't face her parents. Dawn doesn't yell; she cries instead. It's good to see Dawn with perspective for once. Sunny calls her house and Dad cries. Aww! Then Mom gets on the phone and Sunny starts crying. It's a sobfest! Fun for the whole family. Dawn asks Sunny why and Sunny can't answer her. Sunny asks to stay at Dawn's house and Dawn agrees. Dawn talks to Sunny the next morning and tries to understand, but really can't. She's a little cold to Sunny, but Sunny's okay with it. Sunny faces her parents and they at least listen to her and try to be understanding, which is all Sunny wanted in the first place. Sunny laments that nothing will ever be "normal" again.

That's all she wrote! I'm not sure when I'll do #3 - Maggie because my copy is pretty messed up and I might need a new one. I have to check. I may start on #4 - Amalia or I may do some of my library books.







*If you get this joke, congratulations, you're a 90s pop-culture vulture. If not, it's from Daria, the best show ever.